domingo, 20 de febrero de 2011

The Noah Castle Film Awards (Part II: Special Awards Part II)

The second part of the Special Awards are already on the main page. And a part of the anatomy of a British actress has won an award... Nope, not the boobs, sorry. But speaking of boobs and other arousing things, here we have the second part of the candidates for the Sex-On-A-Stick award!

Aaron Eckhart is a Filf (Milf sounds better) in Rabbit Hole. Well, he no longer has a son, so strictly speaking (not really) that disqualifies him as a father so he's just hot. Period. Very, very sexy indeed. There's something about his face that conveys safety and warmth...

Armie Hammer is the gift that keeps on giving. 1) He has a beautiful muscular body. 2) He has a really beautiful face. 3) He has a voice that melts underwear away. 4) In The Social Network there's two of them!!

Mila Kunis plays Lily in Black Swan. Mila Kunis is insanely hot from an objective point of view. I mean, only seeing her in pictures you can see she has a great body and a very sensual face. But Lily's attitude is pure sex. Everything she does is incredibly enticing. From dancing like a pro (a professional ballerina, I mean) to lusciously eating a hamburger all she does is sex, sex, sex.

Stephen Dorff's daughter in Somewhere is alive so he is officially a Filf! Stephen Dorff is not exactly very famous but she conveys that in the film perfectly. And fame is very exciting! Plus, he has a great body (thank you Sofia for all the shower scenes) and that scruffy sexy look...

Ok, so this is slightly illegal. Josh Hutcherson was not yet eighteen when he worked in The Kids Are All Right. Even worse, he plays a fifteen-year-old. But what can we do if he plays a hot fifteen-year-old? Well, admire him from a distance lest we should star in a new production of Lolita called Lolito...

Colin Farrell's character in The Way Back must smell pretty badly. But he is very sexy, especially when his hair is a little longer... I thought that, next to Saoirse's character, his was the most interesting. So interesting that he could do a spin-off in which he finds that he has to have sex with a lot of men in order to be free or whatever the hell he was doing during the film!

Love and Other Drugs was quite bland. But it had vast amounts of sex and nudity. And if that nudity is courtesy of Anne Hathaway and Jake Gyllenhaal I can only say thank you. Thank you to whoever wrote that mess. You should have an Oscar! (not really)

And this is the end for the 2010 sexy people... In a few days I will announce the winner. There are more awards to come (acting and the BIG ones) and those will have winners too but the Special Awards on the main page will remain as they are... No winners and losers I mean, sometimes it's hard to pick a winner when only one film competes! 

Coming soon: The BIG Awards nominations (I'm leaving Acting for the end...)

The Noah Castle Film Awards (Part I: Special Awards Part I)

At last the very first Noah Castle Film Awards have begun!!! Firstly I would like to thank (as if making the awards was an award itself and I got to do a speech) the people who have made this possible. Thanks to all the people in the blogosphere whose film awards I admire  (plagiarism is the truest form of flattery...), especially Nathaniel Rogers from The Film Experience, Jason Adams from My New Plaid Pants and Michael Cusumano from Serious Film. But the bulk of the thank-yous goes to Deivith Coast from Deivith Coast Presents..., because if it was not for him not only I wouldn't know what this award business is all about nor I would care. I'm dying to see his awards!!

Now, the first part of the NCFA 2010 Awards is a collection of randomness. Here in the blog I'm only mentioning the multiple nominees for the Sex-On-A-Stick award of the year, but you can head to the new main page to see all sorts of randomness in this first part of the special awards. And without further ado let's see who were the sexiest people in 2010 films...

Niels Schneider in Les Amours Imaginaires by Xavier Dolan who is also quite very sexy. But as the two main characters I could not help but to be enchanted by this merman. Besides he's so cute when he's wearing his presents...

Ryan Gosling in Blue Valentine. I prefer his younger version but I would take him anyway. He has a sexiness so manly... not to mention his bubble butt.

Amanda Seyfried in Chloe. Was someone thinking this was going to be all men? Well, it is mostly (sorry straight men and gay women) but we have space for a few ladies. And Amanda is one of them. She's so sexy/elegant in Chloe and her boobs are humongous!

Tom Hardy and Joseph Gordon-Levitt in Inception. Could Tom Hardy have a more appropriate surname. He makes us hardy is what I mean. And JGL is so dashing in this film. So serious and strict. There should be a spin-off in which they find that their different approaches to dreaming make them a perfect match for sex. Actually I don't need the excuse. Just the sex. Thank you.

Mark Wahlberg in The Fighter. Not only is he hot, hot, hot, he also plays the nicest human being on Earth. And he fell asleep during a Fernando Trueba film!! What more can you ask?

Cam Gigandet in Burlesque. If I was Ali and found out that my roomie Cam Gigandet is not gay I would put my pants back on as she does but not out of embarrassment but out of anger! And I would take all boxes of cookies out of the house! 

Natasha Yarovenko in Habitación en Roma (Room in Rome). One of the most gorgeous women ever, Natasha (or her character) has that disbelief of her beauty that makes her all the more breath-taking. It is helpful, in order to admire her, that she spends most of the film in her birth-suit...

And this is it for now! Soon (hopefully) you'll be able to read the second part of the Special Awards with more candidates for the Sex-On-A-Stick...

viernes, 18 de febrero de 2011

The Noah Castle Film Awards (Prologue)

This first part of the NCFA (the worldwide famous Noah Castle Film Awards) is actually not about awards for the films I loved the most in 2010 but for the ones that a) I have not had the chance to love yet or b) the ones I have had a chance to love but thought: "Mmh, maybe not!". 

So, these are the twenty films released in 2010 that I most likely will watch sometime in the future. Therefore do not expect to see them in the actual awards posts...

In alphabetical order:

- Another Year
- Barney's Version 
- The Company Men 
- El Cónsul de Sodoma 
- Country Strong 
- Enter the Void
- Four Lions 
- Get Low 
- Hereafter 
- How do You Know 

- Howl
-I'm Still Here
- In a Better World
- Incendies
- The Killer Inside Me
- Made in Dagenham
- La Mujer sin Piano
- Red
- Secretariat
- The Tempest

Some of them I really want to see, some others will be waiting a long time before my retinas pay them any attention (I'm looking to you, Hereafter!) but all of them will most likely be irrelevant for my awards. If not (surprises happen) I will correct my wrongs the minute I see them. Maybe a couple of minutes afterward. Yes. That sounds precise and scientific.

viernes, 11 de febrero de 2011

Emociones de un 11 de febrero

Para empezar, Deivith me recuerda que hoy es el día. "Born this Way". Hoy. Perfección.
Rejoice and love yourself today. Mientras busco la letra en la página web... encuentro con esta foto. Gaga. Vogue. Anna. Oh sí. De alguna manera sobrevivo y me conecto a Facebook para compartir mi ilusión y veo que...

... Fotogramas ha subido este póster. Almodóvar. Ilustraciones naturalistas de finales del XIX.

¿Quiere el universo que hoy me explote el corazón? (Y aún no he visto Modern Family...)

martes, 1 de febrero de 2011

I just have to say...

... that she nails it every time.

Sadder news (therefore not deserving of visual aid) was the result of the awards. TV choices were:
a) Horrifically predictable: Are Claire Danes and Al Pacino collecting awards for these performances in 2056? It seems very likely.
b) Sad: "Boardwalk Empire" and "The Good Wife" taking awards from "Mad Men".
c) Outrageous: Betty White winning only because she is older than TV. Alec Baldwin winning for the fifth (!!) time in a row.
d) Wonderful (the exception): MODERN FAMILY!

In film things were:
a) Equally predictable but great: Natalie Portman.
b) Equally predictable and ok but not great: Colin Firth.
c) Equally predictable and I-don't-know-what-else-because-I-haven't-seen-The-Fighter: Melissa Leo and Christian Bale.
d) Apocalyptic: The King's Speech.

I fear. I don't want The King's Speech to win and it seems unavoidable. DOOM! DOOM!